I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize