we have pet lesbian snakes
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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