The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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