I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
