Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
