They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
