I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
