did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
smell my finger.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
