Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
