I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
