let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
