it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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