brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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