it was like eating out sand paper
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
My life is pants optional.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize