Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
