I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
