friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
