I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
