i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
