I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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