She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
