I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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