Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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