that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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