just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
