I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
