Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
