I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
