dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize