I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
