i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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