i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
