I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
