My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
