That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
