some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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