I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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