in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
