so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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