what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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