we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
You pole danced in your parka.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
