i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
All I want is dick and wine.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
