Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
