she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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