just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
