ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
