you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
