dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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