It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
