I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
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