i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
