Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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