He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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