who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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