matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
