Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
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