I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'm like, not good at living.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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