She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
