Your mouth is God's brothel.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Randomize
