We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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