apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
