Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
