I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
