her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
