It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
My day in three words: secret purse cake
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
