I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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