At least make sure they are 18
Why
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
