But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
