He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
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He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
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Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He keeps bees of course he's weird
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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