Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
